she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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