lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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