mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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