Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize