My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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