Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just gift wrapped bread.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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