Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize