i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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