Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize