If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize