Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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