Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize