Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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