is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize