I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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