Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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