I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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