Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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