you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize