My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
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He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
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First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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