Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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