I looked at my own cervix.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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