We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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