can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
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P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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