We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize