Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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