I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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