youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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