Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
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Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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