I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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