JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize