halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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