How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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