ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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