Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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