Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize