You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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