I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
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We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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