just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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