Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize