If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize