mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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