Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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