i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
my sisters under your porch take her home
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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