i permit you to call me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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