my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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