he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize