Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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