He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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