Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
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In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
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Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize